how to make your boyfriend obsessed with you

How to Make Your Boyfriend Obsessed with You

Want to become your boyfriend’s sole infatuation – the reason his smile is a little brighter and his step a little more buoyant each day? More of an art than a science, evoking a grounded sense of awe and devotion from your partner is as much about how you relate with him as well as yourself. You can foster true obsession in a healthy, organic way when you tap into your radiant confidence and femininity, leave a trace of mystery, ignite his eagerness to provide and protect, and apply some good old fashion seduction magic. Caution: the tactics within are known to elicit unexpected professions of love, frequent romantic gestures, and him bragging about how amazing his girlfriend is to literally everyone! By the end, he won’t just see you – he’ll see the woman of his dreams staring back at him. Sound enticing? Read on to unlock the secrets that will make your boyfriend obsessed with YOU!

Be Confident and Love Yourself

Having confidence and high self-esteem is hugely attractive and will make your boyfriend obsessed with you. Focus on your strengths, treat yourself well, and have a life outside the relationship.

Focus on Your Strengths

We all have things we’re self-conscious about, but try to focus on recognizing and being confident in your talents, skills, and positive qualities instead. Seeing you embrace and radiate self-love will be magnetic for your boyfriend.

Pamper Yourself

Take yourself out on dates, splurge on things that make you feel gorgeous, pursue hobbies you’re passionate about. Prioritizing self-care and indulgence sends the message that you value your worth – which will rub off on how your boyfriend sees you too!

Have Interests Outside the Relationship

As fulfilling as relationships are, retaining a strong sense of self is still essential. Continue surrounding yourself with supportive friends, chasing career goals, traveling places on your bucket list – your fulfillment will translate into increased admiration and validation from your boyfriend.

Create Mystery

When first dating, the thrill of mystery and new discovery is intoxicating in relationships. Recapture some of that by maintaining independence and not being an open book.

Don’t Share Everything

You don’t have to divulge every detail, thought, and moment of your day. Keep some private jokes with friends, dreams for the future, amusing work anecdotes. The open intrigue will keep his fascination alive.

Have Some Separate Friends and Hobbies

Occasionally doing your own thing maintains that aura of confidence and independence your boyfriend originally fell for. The space also makes reconnecting that much sweeter. Absence really can make the heart grow fonder!

Make Him Feel Needed

Bolstering his ego by making your guy feel irreplaceable and depended on is an easy route to obsession. Skillfully utilize his talents so he feels like your personal hero.

Ask His Opinion

We all love being asked for advice – it’s validating and makes us feel more wise. So tap into your boyfriend’s knowledge base by asking him questions or opinions on things he’s knowledgeable about. He’ll beam with pride at being your chosen expert.

Get Him to Help You

Everyone likes feeling helpful and needed. So don’t be shy about asking your boyfriend for assistance with little things – carrying heavy bags, troubleshooting tech issues, fixing something that broke. He’ll relish the chance to save the day.

Compliment His Skills and Talents

Notice what your boyfriend excels at and verbalize awe and appreciation for those abilities, whether it’s his prowess at video games, way with animals, craftsmanship with building things, or other expertise. He’ll eat up the ego boosts.

Give Him Attention, Then Pull Back

Fluctuating between initiation and being aloof ignites the desire to reconnect. Be consistent yet unpredictable with your level of contact to create craving.

Initiate Contact First

Typically guys make the first move in starting conversations or asking for dates. Subvert expectations by being the one to text him cute or flirty messages out of the blue, reach out to make plans, or call just to say hi. He’ll be delightfully thrown off guard.

Don’t Always Be Available

Responding to his texts and calls right away all the time, while thoughtful, can lessen your intrigue over time. Let some messages sit unanswered for a few hours to rebuild anticipation, or have the occasional weekend day out of contact. Healthy space prevents taking each other for granted.

Flirt and Have Fun Together

In the early days of a romance when passions run high, things tend to be lighthearted and fun rather than overly serious. Recapture that spirit of adventure and play.

Flirt With Him

Exchange longing looks across the room, graze his arm gently in conversation, whisper flirty jokes only the two of you understand – take things back to the butterflies and giggles of new love. A little cheeky provocation goes a long way!

Do Exciting and Fun Things Together

Plan thrilling excursions filled with games, physical activities, concerts or comedy shows. See each other at your carefree, youthful best. The shared rush of adrenaline and endorphins will get your blood pumping while also deepening intimacy.

Keep Sex Interesting

Great sex cements obsession as you learn to give each other intense pleasure. Keep things compelling physically through confident initiation, new techniques, and maintaining chemistry.

Initiate Sex Sometimes

Typically, guys initiate intimacy but it can be a turn on when you flip the script. Come up behind him sensually when he’s fresh out of the shower, greet him at the door dressed provocatively after a long day, or whisper sexy invitations in his ear at opportune moments. Your boldness will thrill him and get his motor running fast.

Try New Things in Bed

To counter bedroom boredom as a relationship progresses, have honest discussions about undisclosed fantasies or curiosities you each may harbor, research and experiment with new positions, toys, power dynamic play, and taboo roleplaying scenarios. Our sexual comfort zones expand more than we think when we have the right trusting partner – and the payoff intimacy-wise is tenfold.

Support Him Emotionally

Lastly, fulfilling his emotional needs makes your boyfriend feel wholly seen and valued by you. Apply compassionate listening and encourage his dreams.

Listen Without Judgement

Instead of just waiting for your turn to talk or problem solve when he shares difficulties, work on truly listening without interruption and reacting. Provide empathy, ask thoughtful questions, reside in the gray areas with him. Your non-judgment will comfort and validate him immensely.

Bolster His Confidence

We all have moments of self-doubt or vulnerability about our abilities at times. Combat your boyfriend’s uncertainties by advocating for him pursuing his wildest dreams or applying for that daunting promotion at work he wants but feels underqualified for. Share how highly you think of his skills, how far you think he can go. Having his biggest cheerleader in you means everything.


Making your boyfriend feel positively obsessed begins with shining confidence from within, retaining some mystery about yourself, engaging his talents and virility for your benefit, withdrawing just enough affection to incubate yearning while interspersing exciting and sensual interactions to nurture intimacy. Mastering this balance of push and pull will render you utterly irresistible in his eyes!


Q: Is it unhealthy to purposefully try to foster obsession from him?

A: As long as both people’s needs are respected and you operate from a place of mutual care and consent, increased focus on you from your partner when utilizing these tips is very natural and healthy. Be sure not to go overboard in the intensity though, or be manipulative.

Q: What if my boyfriend starts to pull away after I initiate more distance?

A: Everyone needs space sometimes – that’s normal! But if he consistently stops making effort after you relax on always being available, have an open talk about attachment styles and finding an intimacy rhythm that nurtures you both.

Q: Should I be obsessed with him too for this to work?

A: Not necessarily! Attentiveness and desire in relationships ebbs and flows. If you enacting these tips sparks him lavishing more devotion on you, it can feel very nice even if you aren’t entering obsession territory yourself per se. Mutual adoration on any level is the goal.

Q: How soon might I expect to see a shift after making these changes?

A: People respond differently of course, but subtle differences could occur in as little as 2-4 weeks if you stay consistent. Overhauling deep relationship dynamics does take time though. Stick with it and have periodic check-ins on how it’s landing for him.

Q: What if my boyfriend just isn’t the obsessive type?

A: These tips are intended to nurture increased affinity, but some people do express attachment differently than others naturally and that’s ok too. Focus less on quantifying his obsession and more on tangible behaviors that help you feel cherished.

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